Calm Your Soul.

Simply. Wholly. Beautiful. 

Better be ready!

Remember that old guy I told you about who tells us the funniest things in weights... he might have out done himself. 

Our teacher was out of town, so he asked this man (who wrote the text for that class, what!?) to have us write our names down for attendance. 

He tells me, "all right, after you write your name down don't just stand around, make sure you get to lifting! A captain from the army is coming around in about 30 minutes. His name is Captain Moroni, he's looking for strippling warriors. And if you're aren't pumping iron he's not going to take you!"

I about fell over laughing. 

People that are Wonderful: Edition 7

Everyone, I want you to meet one of my best friends Lexi Clukey.
isn't she pretty??

This post has been long overdue in the fact that we have seen each other through a lot of changes.
and i don't say thank you enough. 
we met (by what i am convinced no small chance) senior year.

To this day i'm still convinced to this day that Lexi's family moved to Park City senior year so we could meet.
she's been a such a blessing in my life.
college is messy.
and i'm so thankful to have this girl by my side :)

1) Lexi has taste for the exquisite. I'm not talking like super fancy stuff, but quality things. Things like music, style, people, and the way to spend her time. and I like that, especially the people part.

2) She is a super talented person. Did you know Lexi has played on an album with musicians? and that she can hear a song look up a few cords and figure it out on the guitar? and she can sing with it too?! She has a natural artistic inclination. And it's SO COOL.

3) Lexi loves the Lord. and if that isn't important. Then I don't know what is. Thanks for helping me be better and being my temple buddy.

4) She is really smart. she works hard to do well in school, she knows her limits, but doesn't ever give up. Even when the subject is challenging.

5) she can throw a mean party when she wants to. coordinating events may just be her calling in life. (even though it gets exhausting sometimes.) she just loves it!

6) she'll be weird with me. we just do our part to keep provo weird.

7) she is honest. and this quality is often overlooked in people, yet I think it adds so much to who Lexi is and the types of relationships she develops.

8) she's passionate. when she truly loves something or feels a certian way about life happenings she has real, raw emotion behind it. and i love that passion. she has the power to ignite fires, but does not abuse it. and that is signal of a girl who understands a few things about life.

9) she is really good company when you need a drive. i'm thankful that we can drive and talk and figure life out.

10) we laugh. a lot.

This list is just a few reasons that Lexi is wonderful. I'm so incredibly lucky to have a best friend as great as her. (get to know her for the pleasure of finding more great traits of lexi!)
I'm thankful linda the lady bug allowed us to meet almost 4 years ago :)
Words can't even begin to do justice to how much i love you and how thankful i am that we've been by each others side through these past few years. truly a huge blessing.  I'm glad God gave me you!
here's to many more years of figuring out this wonderful world and being crazy old ladies together in nursing homes.

Love you long time!

Strange compliments and run ins.

I'm not really sure what it is with BYU and old men (I'm talking grandpas) just hanging around campus. Especially in the Smith Field House weight room and track. 

The past few days I had some ridiculous run ins (literally) that may just humor you.

In my weights class there is always this old guy who is lifting with his buddy. They were probably charmers in high school, on the football team, lifting heavy things - doing manly stuff. Ya know. This man always comes up to Kim, Whitney, and me and just says the funniest things. 

"How long do I have to lift to be as pretty as you girls?"

"Do you girls have a washing machine? because you aren't gonna need one with those abs!"

(after we finished a set of squats...)

"Are you girls flying home for christmas?"

"hahah...uh, no..."

"Well good! Because your buns of steel would set off those metal detectors!"

Mostly we think it's funny. And it works, because he's old. When you're old you have so much life experience that you can say whatever you want. If he was a middle aged man, different story. But golly, he must have been the biggest flirt.

Tuesday I had to go straight from weights to the TR club meeting. I changed my clothes and walked out of the bathroom on to the track and there was this old man running at full speed in the 4th lane. My first thought was, this lane is for walking he will probably move in to the passing lane. Second thought. He's not moving... I move over to the 3rd lane and so does this man. 

At this point there is no time to correct my mistake. 

Everything was slow motion for a brief moment and he full on barrels into me... sweat was everywhere and the impact was overall unpleasant. He then turns and used his grumpy old man voice to tell me I'm walking the wrong way on the track and kept running. . . well thanks for pointing that out, the door I needed to go out of is literally 10 feet away from the bathroom and I wasn't walking all the way around the track...

SO my fellow BYU lady friends. Beware of old men, they may run into you or make you feel great with kind of creepy but totally hilarious complements. 

Part of me can't wait to be old enough to say things and have people be totally okay with it, because, ya know, she's the old lady. 

For me, mostly.

I am so exhausted. 

And I have so many things that I want to write about. 

Like changes. and gratitude. and moments that I need to write down before I forget.

However, another chapter of economics is begging for my attention. 

Pictures will have to do. 

Midnight adventures

Abandoned barns. 

Feelings of being alive.

Wonderful human beings

daily existence... 

Happiness and my two best friends. 

this boy

wonder and awe.

music so pure that there is nothing else to be besides happy.

other side notes

I'm learning so much about TR. I LOVE IT. I'm so excited to get out in the field and be someone

Life is better with recreation. If we don't have fun we get boring, grumpy, and die. (so maybe that's a bit drastic...but it does make a difference!)

Life requires action to be lived. Stop being a victim and just do it, as nike would say.

. . .

sometimes you have to give up something you love for better things to happen.

Ramafam

I learned a lot about home and what makes it this summer. 

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word home is Edward Sharpe's song  "home"- home is where ever i'm with you. Home is filled with people you love, isn't necessarily a place but a feeling that fills the space and time you are existing. Home can be made anywhere you are. Home in terms of sports means where the player is free from attack. Home is a safe zone, it fosters confidence, it is familiar. 

For many of the children I worked with this summer Ramapo is the closest thing that they have to home. Many of the counselors may not come from as harsh of backgrounds yet they have lacked the feeling and Ramapo becomes a home. Part of what makes Ramapo so unique in its culture is this fact. Each person comes seeking or ready to give the support that is essential for every human being to feel as we move through life. I have been fortunate to come from an environment where that support was in place and readily given. I know where I am going, who I am and what my purpose is in being here. Due to these simple circumstances I was able to come to camp and share so much more of who I am. While Ramapo has given me so much more to work with in life, i am still fundamentally me.

Saying goodbye to Ramapo this morning was filled with mixed emotions I don't feel the attachment that most people were struggling to let go of. As I reflect on my feelings, I continue to understand it is because of the solid foundation I came with. At 20 years old most people are still exploring and forming their world. It makes perfect sense that people who really find themselves at Ramapo will have such strong associations with that place in the small town of Rhinebeck NY. The bitter sweet part of it all was saying goodbye to the wonderful people I met and that is when I really understood that Ramapo is a sort of home and that the human lives that came in contact with one another are forever apart of a family. A family bonded over dealing with 18 hour work days, special needs children, and a whole lot of love to give. 

Ramapo is a home where people cry, laugh, and grow together. For moments such as these:

For kids who have so much potential to do wonderful things and are given the unfair lack of positive role models. 

For kids whose eyes speak honestly and openly for them 

for kids who find different ways to speak. 

For people who are starting new and seeking happiness. For friendships that were by no small coincidence.

Ramapo offers the lessons of relationship building, leadership, and independence that are taught in the home. We seek to empower the child, give each staff a way to lead in their own right. (Side note: leaders don't need to be upfront and carismatic. If there is any lesson that I have learned this summer it's that the most powerful leaders come from behind they share their ideas and let them mingle with everyone else's. They encourage people to step out of their comfort zones, they provide opportunity for others to step up. A leader is someone who comes from with in and provides a means or direction to help get others to where they want. They help those they are leading become self sufficient because they won't be able to be there forever. A leader is really someone who helps lift people to their whole potential. They are no greater than those they lead. We are all the same)

I find it sad that many people only experience the support and love that a home should be filled with at Ramapo. Yet how wonderful is it that they can experience that feeling and then seek to recreate it as their life moves forward. This summer has been long, it's been hard, been messy. At the same time this summer was filled with opportunity, growth, and love. The summer filled me with and even greater gratitude of what I have in life and love for the work I am moving towards. The last 10 weeks I have created a sort of home at Ramapo, more out of love than necessity. Camp is a safe place for many and it holds a special place in my heart and the lessons I have learned are inside of me. 

Home was found with the people of the Kingston ward. Accepted with love and joy, the people of the Kingston ward were so humble. Very few youth. Yet the love and bond those people share is moving. It is a testament that Christ's love is real and that we can find our heavenly home anywhere we are. 

I'm ready to be home. Home in the familiar reach of my family. With people I care deeply about. To Utah where the mountains reach the sky, are my protectors, and offer serenity. To the open arms of those I hold closest. Where standards aren't questioned. Home. It's a feeling. It's a place. It's safe.

Ramapo for Children was a place that not only opened my eyes to autism awareness but the work that I want to do as I move forward in life. Summer was incredible. I'm exhausted and it was worth every second.