Tuesday, September 15, 2015

a thought.

I'm continually amazed and perplexed at the notion of light ridding the monsters that creep in the dark. Because I constantly see how bringing light into peoples souls rids them of the monsters that lurk in the shadowy corners of their hearts. 

Then the power that follows when we begin to understand how to focus and reflect the light inside us to others. Now that is beauty. 

Thursday, November 13, 2014

. . .

Anne Morrow Lindbergh once said,

'When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity— in freedom.'

so put a little trust into life, and continue to create the adventure that is the uncertain future. 

Happy first snowfall everyone. 

Sunday, September 28, 2014


Ooo sunday photo shoots are fun. I live with some pretty fantastic humans. and our fake cat.

Life's looked a little different this semester. I got a new job at a treatment center, so I spend a lot of mornings alone doing homework or at the anatomy lab, head to work and get home after most people have gone to bed. The new job also means no rugby, which has been hard but it has seemed to be one of those things where you do everything you can to make it work but it just won't. Occasionally the universe asks us to do things a little differently than we intended. And that is okay. Each day is a reassurance that I am where I need to be.

Between conversations with some of the girls at work and friends I've thought a lot about how happiness seems to be this ideal that we teach kids is the default position that we have to be. I reject this sentiment. I don't mind people being happy. Rather it's the idea that everything we do is in the pursuit of happiness. It has led to a contemporary western society that fears sadness. A society that fears emotion, rejects rawness, and praises euphoria. 

Wholeness is what we should be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, and failure. All of those things that make us who we are. Happiness, fulfillment, and victory are nice things that happen to us, but they don't teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain, and then they say "Quick! Move on! Cheer up!" We must work through the pain, find new pieces of ourself. We're supposed to have and experience the whole range of human emotions. I'd like for a year to have a moratorium on the word 'happiness' and replace it with the word 'wholeness'. Ask yourself, "is this contributing to my wholeness?" and if you're having a bad day, it is. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


I’m about 68% sure that love is being able to go hiking and not care whether they're gross or sweaty or whether they still have morning caked on their face. It's jumping into a freezing river and hearing laughter dance across the water and surrounding canyon walls. Love is lightening flashing moments of brilliance across a midnight sky and retaining the quiet awe in your heart. It’s knowing that if you got lost in the wilderness with no grantee of returning home, there is no one else you’d rather be lost with.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Dear Provo 10

You were so good to me. I'm so happy and exhausted. This last week was easily one of the best EFY weeks I could have ever asked for. I've got a lot of love for these kids, and they have got a lot of love for each other. I'm so thankful for them. Thank you for reminding me to be where I am. and that more often than not God gives us strength and answers prayers as we reach out to those around us. The Lord is not going to let us down - especially as we seek Him in everything we do. 
(D&C 6:36 "look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not)

 I know this Gospel is the way to happiness. Christ lives! and what wonderful news that is.

find out more here. 

come at me provo 11. I'm ready for ya. 

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Circumstance and Adventure.

The following show that I probably need to learn to take a picture with my mouth closed. . . I feel so very blessed with how life has seemed to fall into place over the past few weeks. My housing situation has improved DRAMATICALLY. I live with calm, clean, peaceful, happy girls. It makes the world of difference. Not that circumstance contributes that much to our overall happiness. In fact according to positive psychology experts 50% of our happiness lies in our set genetic point, 40% lies in our choices that we make every day, and only 10% in our circumstance. So we are all largely in control of our own happiness, but it certainly makes a difference to have a warm welcoming place with life in it to come home to every day. I'm thankful. So, without further adue. . .

We both have brown hair, are named Sarah B. I love this girl and just can't help but feel our paths were supposed to cross. 

Because only the hard core counselors take advantage of the free meals in the cannon and have a little fun along the way. . . 

Once upon a time the 93rd ward set out to Utah lake to have a bonfire. What started out at 40 plus people quickly fell to 7 as there was a giant wind storm and a fire simply was not an option. However, the few, the proud, the adventurers stayed, played in the lake, and made some incredible memories. 

The best group of adventurers I could ask for. 

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Full heart, full life.

I don't even care that it's past 2 am and that I have work at 8 am. 

I'm just really, really happy right now. 

And so very thankful for friendship that lasts through years. I've been filled with extremely good company of old friends the past two evenings. And I think that's what we need to fill our soul with, connections with others. I'm not talking about the superficial kind, rather, the kind where we share bellyaching laughs, tears during inevitable tough times, and exploring the unknown together. We spend so much time searching for things that make us feel full, chasing after material items, when really the way to happiness is simple. Find meaning. Be real. Be authentic. Fill your days with others, reach out, connect, learn new things, read uplifting messages, talk with God, take care of the body that houses your soul. You, dear reader, may be thinking, "sure, the answer is simple but the road is hard." 

You're right. 

It is hard, but the challenge makes life worth living.

Our nature is eternal. Respond to that side, take care of it, and life will be kind. 

here's some places to start.