Location: confines of my house
Listening to: (500) days of summer soundtrack
Avoiding: homework :P
This past week has been; BLAHHH. Everything has seemed to be backwards. So for a moment, I'm going to take my time on my little space of the interwebs to gripe. Perhaps, not about the issue, but what could fix it.
I need summer. Actually, my soul needs it.
There is not one thing that makes me happier in this world then being outside. Sunshine on my face. Sweet warmth of a summers sun. The gentle nudging of the grass on my skin. Pure innocence. Yeah, it's fantastic. Maybe it's the fact that there is no reservations to anyone or anything. I'm free. It's almost a cleansing. I'm stuck in this blind spot right now. You know, the one between fear and love. It's a bit complicated, however, I have some belief that it will work out. Summer will come. It always does, so why can't everything work out? Perhaps this summer I will gain a new found love. Maybe I'll find a new spot; find a new favorite band-- and go to some concerts. Perhaps, if I'm lucky.. people will come back around. And I know for a fact that I'll get to see Katie. Whom I miss dearly. [mac to my cheese].
If things could be like last summer I would be one happy girl. I know it's going to be different. I've accepted that. But no doubt I'm going to miss it. It's such a sweet disposition. Ending of a chapter... beginning of a new one... *sigh*... I guess I just want to be the one leaving this time. Next year. Next year. . . In the mean time I won't stop smiling. It's good for you-- I highly suggest trying it.
Lacrosse games start tomorrow :) At least now I'll have something to preoccupy me for the next 2.5 months. then prom. then the school year will be over in a snap.
side note: sometimes we expect more from others becuase we would be willing to do that much for them. Story of my life.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Come Away With Me.
Location: Living Room
Listening to: Norah Jones <3
Avoiding: the cold.
Observations- As I was driving down from my good friend Tyler's house the other night I was in the green car AKA Judith which I was also so fortunate to damage [slightly, just the bumper] about a month and a half ago. It was a mistake I made, but I did every thing in my power to make things right again. Anyways- Before the car was taken to the body shop there was this big chunk missing, exposing the tire, staring back mockingly every time I walked out the door. I hated myself for that.
Now, the car is fixed. I've moved on. However, I couldn't help but think how life is so much like that. It's funny how things fade. Time just seems to be an illusion. Moments are gone as quickly as the first one came. Cuts heal, dents reversed, scars fade, memories are burned into our minds, perfect moments relived. [Strange how we never appreciate them till later.] Living in love, remembering the warmth of a summers son on the coldest winters night. Feel the soft touch of someone we love when we're all alone. Escape to the memories, the ones that make us whole. Make us who we are. We choose what to remember.
In other news;
The winter soundtrack has been pretty sweet. Skiing. Being with people I love. Doing silly things (50 piece chicken nugget?) Lacrosse. Snowy days. I love watching it snow-- it's like the world is at peace. Nights of making dinner with friends. Just sitting and talking. Song writing. Hot Potts. The laughs, the tears, and the hugs. Everything has been so worth it. I've come closer to some, and have had to grow away from others, and even been reconnected. I've smiled. And I know with in a couple of months life as I know it will take an 180. I'm scared, but I'm excited-- for the new adventure that lies ahead. The new soundtrack.
Also,
500 days of summer = favorite movie of all time.
Listening to: Norah Jones <3
Avoiding: the cold.
Observations- As I was driving down from my good friend Tyler's house the other night I was in the green car AKA Judith which I was also so fortunate to damage [slightly, just the bumper] about a month and a half ago. It was a mistake I made, but I did every thing in my power to make things right again. Anyways- Before the car was taken to the body shop there was this big chunk missing, exposing the tire, staring back mockingly every time I walked out the door. I hated myself for that.
Now, the car is fixed. I've moved on. However, I couldn't help but think how life is so much like that. It's funny how things fade. Time just seems to be an illusion. Moments are gone as quickly as the first one came. Cuts heal, dents reversed, scars fade, memories are burned into our minds, perfect moments relived. [Strange how we never appreciate them till later.] Living in love, remembering the warmth of a summers son on the coldest winters night. Feel the soft touch of someone we love when we're all alone. Escape to the memories, the ones that make us whole. Make us who we are. We choose what to remember.
In other news;
The winter soundtrack has been pretty sweet. Skiing. Being with people I love. Doing silly things (50 piece chicken nugget?) Lacrosse. Snowy days. I love watching it snow-- it's like the world is at peace. Nights of making dinner with friends. Just sitting and talking. Song writing. Hot Potts. The laughs, the tears, and the hugs. Everything has been so worth it. I've come closer to some, and have had to grow away from others, and even been reconnected. I've smiled. And I know with in a couple of months life as I know it will take an 180. I'm scared, but I'm excited-- for the new adventure that lies ahead. The new soundtrack.
Also,
500 days of summer = favorite movie of all time.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Nothing Worthwhile is Ever Easy
Location: Bedroom Floor
Listening to: Some CD they gave us in YW today.
Avoiding: AP Art History
Listening to: Some CD they gave us in YW today.
Avoiding: AP Art History
This image was on post secret today. It stuck out to me. Partly because the simplicity, the serenity, and hopefulness of the secret.
The spring spoken of is both a metaphor and truth. Even though the things that have gone on in recent months have been so hard, felt so cold, so dark, so much like winter. However, I know I will be rewarded, some how. After all, as Thoreau said, "Nothing worthwhile is ever easy," it's all so worth it in the end. Things truthfully are looking up. Becoming more like "spring." I'm understanding more and more why I have been placed where I am. I'm having doors open up. It may not be what I imagined, but it never is. I'll just keep moving forward and hoping for the best.
Plus, everyone knows what spring means. Lacrosse season (: (yeah, I would.)
Strawberry-Banana
location: bed, hiding underneath my "fluffy"
listening to: new play list. not named yet, made all of 15 minutes ago.
avoiding: sleep...
This week, has been draining. Both emotionally and physically. However, it's times like these that I can take a step back and realize, and take note, of all those that actually love and care for me. Of course like any list, it changes, names are added, and even worse, names are crossed off. Yet, that just makes me even more grateful for all the people on that metaphorical list. . . like, my leaders. Sister Davis in particular; absolutely amazing. I hope to one day be as fantastic as she is in someones eyes. (: She really has helped me through a lot, taught me loads also. (especially that strawberry banana shakes fix anything) As for the physically; being emotionally drained also carries over to being physically drained. Although I feel so much better when I run, I am also running almost twice as hard to forget and make everything okay. Thus, exhaustion.
Blurb: When it comes to caring for people, I'm glad I don't ever stop caring, about anyone. Even though it causes pain at times, it's worth it in the end. Because Jesus said, "Love everyone." It doesn't mean you have to be friends (because it doesn't always work that way)
I also realised that "ski week" is in one week. After that we have six weeks till spring break. Then 8 weeks till the end of the school year. What? I'm never gonna be able to get everything done. It's going to be a miracle if I pull off Prom Assembly, Prom, AP testing, and Elections and don't die. Wish me luck!
Random thought from the other day:
I am a dork. One-hundred percent. Why? Here's some reasons: I got a calculator for Christmas. Our idea of being rebellious and illegal is sneaking into hotel pools. I do my homework. I take pride in my school. I do silly things with my friends. Spur of the moment. We sit on roofs. Talk about "MILA" all the time. we can make Harry Potter references and actually understand what the other person is talking about. We laugh and are our crazy selves in public. I don't need the approval of others. We do silly things all the time. Dinosaurs are awesome! we can play hide and seek and sardines and be entertained for hours. I quote Disney ALL the time. I laugh at myself. Sometimes I stand alone. I text adults. Socks are mittens for the feet. My favorites accessory is my "glasses". My mind just doesn't function completely normal all the time. I trip a little too much. I tel pointless stories. Enjoy going to church. Wild dance parties. Ninjas. Barfing love. I am LOUD. I smile all the time. The park is my favorite place ever. Exploring is super dandy. I use words like fantastic, legit, apporate in daily conversation. Stu Do is the best thing EVER. We can play with magnets for hours. Bees scare me silly. I want to be like Ellie from UP! Jam!! Bench of extreme convenience Tic-Tok. I want toe be a superhero. . .Point proven?
This could go on for quite awhile. Fact is I'm a nerd, dork, all the above. Whatever you want to call it. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love who I am. I love my life. And all those who are in it (because they love me for me, and I don't have to change for anyone.)
And, Approx 24 days to Vegas. Can't. Wait.
listening to: new play list. not named yet, made all of 15 minutes ago.
avoiding: sleep...
This week, has been draining. Both emotionally and physically. However, it's times like these that I can take a step back and realize, and take note, of all those that actually love and care for me. Of course like any list, it changes, names are added, and even worse, names are crossed off. Yet, that just makes me even more grateful for all the people on that metaphorical list. . . like, my leaders. Sister Davis in particular; absolutely amazing. I hope to one day be as fantastic as she is in someones eyes. (: She really has helped me through a lot, taught me loads also. (especially that strawberry banana shakes fix anything) As for the physically; being emotionally drained also carries over to being physically drained. Although I feel so much better when I run, I am also running almost twice as hard to forget and make everything okay. Thus, exhaustion.
Blurb: When it comes to caring for people, I'm glad I don't ever stop caring, about anyone. Even though it causes pain at times, it's worth it in the end. Because Jesus said, "Love everyone." It doesn't mean you have to be friends (because it doesn't always work that way)
I also realised that "ski week" is in one week. After that we have six weeks till spring break. Then 8 weeks till the end of the school year. What? I'm never gonna be able to get everything done. It's going to be a miracle if I pull off Prom Assembly, Prom, AP testing, and Elections and don't die. Wish me luck!
Random thought from the other day:
I am a dork. One-hundred percent. Why? Here's some reasons: I got a calculator for Christmas. Our idea of being rebellious and illegal is sneaking into hotel pools. I do my homework. I take pride in my school. I do silly things with my friends. Spur of the moment. We sit on roofs. Talk about "MILA" all the time. we can make Harry Potter references and actually understand what the other person is talking about. We laugh and are our crazy selves in public. I don't need the approval of others. We do silly things all the time. Dinosaurs are awesome! we can play hide and seek and sardines and be entertained for hours. I quote Disney ALL the time. I laugh at myself. Sometimes I stand alone. I text adults. Socks are mittens for the feet. My favorites accessory is my "glasses". My mind just doesn't function completely normal all the time. I trip a little too much. I tel pointless stories. Enjoy going to church. Wild dance parties. Ninjas. Barfing love. I am LOUD. I smile all the time. The park is my favorite place ever. Exploring is super dandy. I use words like fantastic, legit, apporate in daily conversation. Stu Do is the best thing EVER. We can play with magnets for hours. Bees scare me silly. I want to be like Ellie from UP! Jam!! Bench of extreme convenience Tic-Tok. I want toe be a superhero. . .Point proven?
This could go on for quite awhile. Fact is I'm a nerd, dork, all the above. Whatever you want to call it. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love who I am. I love my life. And all those who are in it (because they love me for me, and I don't have to change for anyone.)
And, Approx 24 days to Vegas. Can't. Wait.
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