. . .

Anne Morrow Lindbergh once said,

'When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity— in freedom.'

so put a little trust into life, and continue to create the adventure that is the uncertain future. 

Happy first snowfall everyone. 

Wholeness.

Ooo sunday photo shoots are fun. I live with some pretty fantastic humans. and our fake cat.

Life's looked a little different this semester. I got a new job at a treatment center, so I spend a lot of mornings alone doing homework or at the anatomy lab, head to work and get home after most people have gone to bed. The new job also means no rugby, which has been hard but it has seemed to be one of those things where you do everything you can to make it work but it just won't. Occasionally the universe asks us to do things a little differently than we intended. And that is okay. Each day is a reassurance that I am where I need to be.

Between conversations with some of the girls at work and friends I've thought a lot about how happiness seems to be this ideal that we teach kids is the default position that we have to be. I reject this sentiment. I don't mind people being happy. Rather it's the idea that everything we do is in the pursuit of happiness. It has led to a contemporary western society that fears sadness. A society that fears emotion, rejects rawness, and praises euphoria. 

Wholeness is what we should be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, and failure. All of those things that make us who we are. Happiness, fulfillment, and victory are nice things that happen to us, but they don't teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain, and then they say "Quick! Move on! Cheer up!" We must work through the pain, find new pieces of ourself. We're supposed to have and experience the whole range of human emotions. I'd like for a year to have a moratorium on the word 'happiness' and replace it with the word 'wholeness'. Ask yourself, "is this contributing to my wholeness?" and if you're having a bad day, it is. 

adventure

I’m about 68% sure that love is being able to go hiking and not care whether they're gross or sweaty or whether they still have morning caked on their face. It's jumping into a freezing river and hearing laughter dance across the water and surrounding canyon walls. Love is lightening flashing moments of brilliance across a midnight sky and retaining the quiet awe in your heart. It’s knowing that if you got lost in the wilderness with no grantee of returning home, there is no one else you’d rather be lost with.

Dear Provo 10

You were so good to me. I'm so happy and exhausted. This last week was easily one of the best EFY weeks I could have ever asked for. I've got a lot of love for these kids, and they have got a lot of love for each other. I'm so thankful for them. Thank you for reminding me to be where I am. and that more often than not God gives us strength and answers prayers as we reach out to those around us. The Lord is not going to let us down - especially as we seek Him in everything we do. 

(D&C 6:36 "look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not)

 I know this Gospel is the way to happiness. Christ lives! and what wonderful news that is.

find out more here. 

come at me provo 11. I'm ready for ya. 

Circumstance and Adventure.

The following show that I probably need to learn to take a picture with my mouth closed. . . I feel so very blessed with how life has seemed to fall into place over the past few weeks. My housing situation has improved DRAMATICALLY. I live with calm, clean, peaceful, happy girls. It makes the world of difference. Not that circumstance contributes that much to our overall happiness. In fact according to positive psychology experts 50% of our happiness lies in our set genetic point, 40% lies in our choices that we make every day, and only 10% in our circumstance. So we are all largely in control of our own happiness, but it certainly makes a difference to have a warm welcoming place with life in it to come home to every day. I'm thankful. So, without further adue. . .

We both have brown hair, are named Sarah B. I love this girl and just can't help but feel our paths were supposed to cross. 

Because only the hard core counselors take advantage of the free meals in the cannon and have a little fun along the way. . . 

Once upon a time the 93rd ward set out to Utah lake to have a bonfire. What started out at 40 plus people quickly fell to 7 as there was a giant wind storm and a fire simply was not an option. However, the few, the proud, the adventurers stayed, played in the lake, and made some incredible memories. 

The best group of adventurers I could ask for. 

Full heart, full life.

I don't even care that it's past 2 am and that I have work at 8 am. 

I'm just really, really happy right now. 

And so very thankful for friendship that lasts through years. I've been filled with extremely good company of old friends the past two evenings. And I think that's what we need to fill our soul with, connections with others. I'm not talking about the superficial kind, rather, the kind where we share bellyaching laughs, tears during inevitable tough times, and exploring the unknown together. We spend so much time searching for things that make us feel full, chasing after material items, when really the way to happiness is simple. Find meaning. Be real. Be authentic. Fill your days with others, reach out, connect, learn new things, read uplifting messages, talk with God, take care of the body that houses your soul. You, dear reader, may be thinking, "sure, the answer is simple but the road is hard." 

You're right. 

It is hard, but the challenge makes life worth living.

Our nature is eternal. Respond to that side, take care of it, and life will be kind. 

here's some places to start.
(links)

Gratitude

Vulnerability

Our Identity

Your Happily Ever After

life according to my eye(s)phone. . .

anddd here's an iPhone dump. . . because it's been awhile... things happened, and memories have been made. and I'm 21 now? 

Feb. Moab. 

Feb. Seestars :) 

March. That time I sprained my ankle... 

March. Red Yeti.

Scoot Scoot Rides and Finals.

Team Family. Sisters, not teammates. 

Saltflats tomfoolery. 

9 square for days. 

That time I turned 21. Shout out to these kids. Also, TRANE is HOME.

Celebrating adulthood. 

Decided it might be time to retire these. They saw a lot of adventure.

Mom came for women's conference :) 

Love this girl, Hope sleeping in the car because it was past her bedtime. 

Bought this, and am probably a little too excited for it. . . 

Life's essentials. Temple and running. 

Trusty Nikes - the adventures have just begun. 

Gosh Utah, stop being so cool. 

That Summer Feeling...

If you know me, you'd know that there is nothing I love more about the earth than the in between seasons of spring and fall. There is a lingering sense of magic in the air that I love. A sense of life that you can just feel. Both seasons are buzzing with change and a bit of nostalgia. Just something about the promise that lies ahead that makes me so inexplicably excited and happy. I remember this time last year I was getting ready for a summer that would confirm so much about the direction I had decided to move towards in life. I remember looking at the prospect of the adventure that laid ahead and was so beyond thrilled to jump full into whatever the heck summer had to offer. And it was really hard and really wonderful. This year is different, I'm taking the summer to be an EFY counselor, it's something that has kind of been a bucket list item of mine for a long time - and I am just so excited to see where the summer takes me. I'm sure I'll learn a lot from the kids and I'll be tired, oh so tired, but it's the best kind of tired imaginable. I think about where I've been between now and last summer and I've grown so much. I've learned so much about rec therapy, applied my knowledge in so many settings. I'm grateful for where the year took me, I've learned a lot about myself and others and what it really means to love (which will probably be a life long evolving pursuit). I'm thrilled for what lies ahead, summer if for experiencing, adventuring, and growing. In the mean time I have a lot of barefoot nights and laughs to be shared before EFY begins. mmm. I love this playground I live in, now accepting applications for adventure buddies.

What I'm Listening To

Three songs that flow flawlessly into one.

It's a song about courage and going into the unknown

everything's gonna get lighter even if it never gets better. 

happy finals. 

i'm alive.

I haven't been writing as much as I would like to be. 

All I know is I need more of this little nugget in my life.

she thought photo booth was just the funniest. 

2014.

.... dare greatly. reach deeper. give more thanks. for happiness and heartbreak. move on. by that i mean forward. explore new cities. carry a camera. read. know your occupation. make space. both in my home and heart. floss. smile. write more letters. don't apologize. not for what you feel. sleep. be in motion. lean deeper into life. forgive. speak the truth. be gentle. paint your nails. say no. ask for help. remember your worth. rediscover wholehearted living - real life is right now, not later. laugh. laugh a lot. quit comparing. have confidence in where you are. do good. embrace the challenge. notice the quiet. breathe life in to your actions. cherish each day. create the gift that is the coming year...