Monday, December 10, 2012

People that are Wonderful: Edition 5

Over the summer I had the privilege of living with this wonderful girl. 


Meet Marissa McLean. 

Marissa and I go way back to the days of candy counter during my freshman year. Any saturday that you got to work TZ with Marissa was a great day, because it meant bagel bins & bars and gum. Which equal awesome chats. I would tell her about my life and she would listen, we would laugh and talk about the crazy things she did as a freshman and I simply adored her. Which is funny, because she's told me that when she first met me she never thought we would be as close as we are now. I'm glad we got over that "oh no! what do they think of me" state of mind. Because she's pretty great. 

There are a lot of reasons I love Marissa. I'm going to try and do justice to the amazing person she is. 

1) Marissa loves fully, deeply, and well. 
2) She takes time. I love talking with Marissa, she is an excellent listener and takes whatever you are talking about and gives such wonderful perspective and advice. 
3) Secrets in her bed at 4 am. One time I came in after a night of craziness and just climbed in her bed with her. We told each other all our secrets. Sisterhood right there.
4) she loves the gospel SO much. I'm always amazed by Marissa's insights and love for the gospel. I've had the opportunity to liten to her testify this semester several times. She does so with grace, understanding, and pure love.
5) she is an example and force for good simply by the way she lives. Really though, she notices people and serves them. She is constantly thinking of others.
6) study parties at the library. Need I say more? they're always the best. She's a smartie pants. 
7) she loves feeding people. and takes care of me. she has a generous heart. 
8) i think she's one of the few people to ever see me cry on multiple occasions. she's a person who can be trusted. 
9) her energy and love for life. marissa loves people. it's infectious. i always feel like a better person after being with her.
9.5) she is a connector. which is really neat when you think about it.  
10) she takes me at my best and my worst. It means more than she could ever know. We've gotten each other through some hard patches - she's one of those people that comes in your life to help you and be helped. 
11) you're always guaranteed a fun adventure with Marissa. It's the best. we have far too many. 
12) the way she lights up when she sees you. It's wonderful, totally genuine, and it just makes me and others around me so very happy. 
13) midnight adventures. couch sitting. swimming. chalk art. jumping into pools with our clothes on. laughing till it hurts. dance parties. cooking. 4th of july. she played a huge part in one of the greatest 4 month periods of my life. so. many. memories. 
14) she writes beautifully. She has a truly poetic nature about her. 
15) she is a good snuggler :)

These are just a few reasons I love this girl. Who she is constantly amazes me. 
I love watching her grow. Hearing about her life. Discovering things. Her teaching me things. We just hava a wonderful relationship. I wouldn't trade it for anything. So thankful for her. 

When you're 19 you need someone checking in on you. Marissa, you do just that. You are one of my very very best friends and I certainly know it was by no small chance that we met. And while I am a little bummed that things didn't work out for me to move to the blue house with her I'm thankful for the time we've shared together thus far. More memories are yet to be made! So many adventures to be had, laughs to be shared! Thanks for being there for me, through the laughs and tears, I'm always here for you. 

Happy 21st darling. 

Love you a million and more. 


Monday, December 3, 2012

This.

i mean what can i say. it really would be a shame. 

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

If you're in need of a laugh.



Upon going through some pictures with Brigham we noticed that if you flipped between these too it was entertaining. 

So I'm sharing with the world. 

I have a cute brother and niece. 

Sunday, November 25, 2012

a fact.

Today during church I couldn't stop thinking about a friend and how they were doing. 
So rather then asking them how they were doing... because we all know social norms are that we say we're doing allright, even if everything is not, I wrote them a letter and left it taped to their door. 
I just got a text from them. 
a kind one. 
but I also feel really silly. 
I shouldn't.

But I do.

and that is that.

in other news. 9 days of classes. and 4.5 finals stand between me and 3 glorious weeks of wedding, family, and snow filled days. 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Background Details

Once upon a time in the basement of Young Hall 6 freshman girls in footie pajamas thought they were alone at the hour of 3 am. They had a dance party in the laundry room - filmed it, had a good laugh and went to bed.

Today I was looking back at the video with Cassie, and we noticed something we hadn't before. 

we weren't alone.  


Life is kind of hilarious. 

Monday, November 5, 2012

Connections.

there's been much talk of friendships lately. Best friends, boyfriends, girlfriends... TV show friends

friends can help each other. a true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or not feel. What ever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what they really are.

I'm lucky that I have a friendship like that with more than one person in my life.

You know who you are. and I love you dearly.

Thank you. 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Anne Morrow Lindbergh said: "My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds" 

That's how I feel. It's not my idea, but I feel that way.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Little talks

Lately there has been so much talk of change.
people coming.
people going.
seasons turning. 
plans being made. 
life being lived. 
it is an ever present force.
everyone is constantly looking how things are going to change. 
some view it as an escape.
plans, changes, are important, they must be made. but I think they forget. 
what about right now?
what about the things that don't change?
what about the heart breakingly beautiful moment right before the change?
after all. leaves are most beautiful before they fall. and stars shine brightest right before they fade. 
if we're stuck anticipating we're only going to be let down once it actually happens.
living like this will never bring true happiness.
we must be patient. 
going about our daily tasks and priorities. 
being where we are. 
but being patient is hard, especially when you're itching for a change. 
when you're feeling like a child on Christmas Eve. 
Yearning. 
so full of anticipation.
not really sure what things hold in store. 
wondering how hour decisions will influence the change for better or worse.
every day is pivotal. 

I don't know a whole lot right now.
I don't know where I'll be in six months. 
But I do know I'll get there. 
I do know I'll be able to do what I desire.
I do know I'll be happy. 

Saturday, October 20, 2012

it is an easy thing to hate.
but to love.
that is an entirely different thing. 

to completely
let go.
and give yourself up.

to let someone explore
the depths of your mind
 (which
is so very carefully hidden away)
to allow someone power
to destroy you.


but trusting them not to. 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

good thing, real friends.

Today I am so very thankful for ChloĆ© Michelle Sumsion.

Honestly with out her I'd probably be half way to crazy and hitch hiking to Antartica. 

So what ever day it was that we decided to become friends (maybe it was donna hall's class. or maybe sikasita's class. or maybe at church. or maybe natural helpers club. i'm not sure) I'm glad that day happend. 

and I'm even more glad that being at college and living in provo has only brought us closer together.

She reminds me who I am when I need it most. 

and she shines brighter than anyone I know.

Everyone should try to live a little more like ChloĆ©. 

The world would be a much better place. 





through thick and thin. 

here for you till the last day and then more.  

Saturday, October 6, 2012

A beautiful day.

It is the most beautiful perfect autumn day. 

Fall was and is always my very favorite season.

And I sat on the side of the road crying tears of joy and happiness. 

Because I know what I need to do.

I feel so incredibly blessed right now.

The Lord KNOWS me.

I see it so much every day.

And I am so thankful for the knowledge I have.

So much happiness to be spread in a world of ever increasing sorrow. 

Answers to prayer. Every day. 

Monday, October 1, 2012

more time. more friends. more living.

I don't know what it's been about the past couple days. But something inside of me is yearning. 

I'm not really sure what I'm yearning for but I think it's something along the sense of belonging. Feeling that where I am that I'm wanted. Something that is the opposite of loneliness. I think I've found that in my life before. It's not quiet love. Not quite community. Just the feeling that everyone around you is in this together. People are on your side. When it's 3 am and our work is done no one goes to bed. When everyone lingers a little at the door because they don't want to leave. The times we did. The times we went. The times we saw. The times we conquered. Together. 

Our lives are made up of many different circles that we naturally pull ourselves towards. Everyone just ends up together on a saturday night. Not because there were any specific plans, but because it just is. It just works. It is within these groups that we feel safe, we feel loved, we feel apart of something - even on the loneliest nights where we are just awake - we feel connected by this unspoken web. 

The thing that scares me most is losing this. Things constantly change, we're never anywhere for long. We come and go as quickly as the tide - but there is always that sense that in the next phase there will be another circle because that is the way it is. It's the way it always has been, but what if suddenly it's not. 

This can't be it?

I'm so young. nineteen years old. so young.

I have so much time.

For some reason I feel this unspoken idea that it's too late. I need to hurry up and move to the next phase of my life. Get my degree. Get married. Have it all figured out. I often think, "what if" What if I had taken that photography class in High School?  Gotten into film sooner? What if I had more time to explore? Would my life be different? There's no way I could know now. I feel like some artistic creative side of me has been neglected and it's too late to begin exploring now. But that is a lie. It is never to late to begin.

When I first arrived in Provo, as it is when you arrive anywhere new, there was a  sense of possibility. An undefinable potential energy, light floating waiting to be funneled in a single direction to form a powerful beam. It's easy to feel like some of that has slipped away. That I'm stuck on this path. Held here in a place that's not big enough to handle my dreams and ideas. But truth is I'm not. I can still do anything. I can be bigger than this town. I can change my mind. This idea that it's too late to do anything is ridiculous. I'm so young. I can't lose this idea - this sense that anything is possible, because really it's all I have for ideas to hang on and grow.

My potential to do great things in this world are endless. There will be times that are easier than others to make things happen. I promise I won't give up. I won't stop seeking connections, exploring my potential, and creating my world. A place where it's never too late for anything and everyone is wanted. 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Because I love my job

So I feel like I always say I love my my job on here. but no one knows exactly what I do.

I work for First-Year Experience. It's our job to make sure the freshman know what's up. In the office my main job is orientation. I coordinate, plan, and then do other odds and ends. Basically we work all year to make orientation happen and make sure it's a blast and worth freshman's time. We also do other events throughout the year, but orientation is our big tuna. 

Basically orientation was the best three days of work EVER. 30,000 bright eyed, eager kiddos ready to start their adventure here. 
 The day time consists of tours and informational meetings about majors and what they need to do/expect during their time at BYU. The evenings are basically a party!




 Lots of kids to check in. 



 Counting. and counting. and counting. 


 I designed those shirts!






 Yay staff!
 The result of the above pictures. 
Pretty neat right?
 "Sign the banna getchyo planner."
"Plan your life find your wife"



 My boss is awesome.

Back of the shirt I designed
 Staff dance parties kept us going. 


 There's tons more that's not even pictured but I won't bore you with more details
Basically I have a sweet job. I love the energy freshman have and it's hard to believe I was in their shoes only a year and a half ago. 

Life is good. 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

all about an attitude of gratitude.

my heart is hurting.

and that's a whole other story for another day. 

here is what made today good.
declared my major.
in the marriott school.
played rugby.
rain.
thunder.
lightning. 
lovely chats with lindsey.
asked on a date for this weekend.
dogeball.
driving a cool truck.
4 square which then turned to 6 square.
indie dance parties.
trying to do homework but dancing in the windows with the boys across the quad.
chats with ben. 
i got two new sweet tshirts.
(one for swag saturdays and the other for wildlife wednesdays)
see wednesdays below. 


7 hidden wolves on it.

all my dreams have come true.

be thankful for the small things.
LOVE YOU. 

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

life always falls into place. always.

I don't have much time right now.

I really need to be studying.
waitwhat?

But I will say this.

I love rugby.

I love accounting. 

I am so happy I dropped my math classes and changed my major.

I think that I'll be able to help peoples lives be better this way. 

And things are turning out all right. 

and although not living with friends is weird, I'm learning.

I'm meeting people, it's slow. 

but good. 


The Lord is clever sometimes. 

But he knows exactly what I need

Monday, September 3, 2012

a beautiful thing.

trials & hard times are a beautiful thing. i'm thankful for them. 
watch this and let it help you grow. 


"when you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better."

Sunday, September 2, 2012

one time someone told me.


things will end up how they are supposed to.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

we got no money, but we got heart.


One time Colter said,

"Well that big heart is responsible for all the friendships you've made. The stronger the friendships the harder the heartbreak."

Oh how right he is. 

I'm thankful for my big heart. It's made me many friendships that I would not trade for the world.

New adventures are on the way.

Friday, August 10, 2012

I don't know what to call this. I'm just SO excited!!

You know what's awesome?
Life.
You know what's even more awesome?
The fact that some of my very favorite people are getting back from their adventures abroad.
And it gets even more awesome.
They return to Provo in about a WEEK.
I literally might fall out of my chair I'm so excited! 
Chloe was in Jerusalem. 
Colter was in Germany.
Obscene time differences and lack of reliable internet made skype suuupeeer hard. 
Not being able to call them, hang out with them, adventure with them was torture.
It's incredible how much we take those little things like being able to call or text whenever for granted.
But now I can!
Life is even happier than before!
To all my other dear friends who I've been talking with all summer I'm super excited for your return too :) 
and to all those who have stayed here in Provo. I don't know what I would do without you. 
So much love for each and every one of you!
I have wonderful people in my life. Thanks for being one of them!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Remind Me.


To tell you why I love these girls more than life itself. 

any why they have made summer so wonderful. 

Thursday, August 2, 2012

dear world.

just because i've been hurt before. 
dosent mean i will be unkind.
there's already too much hate in this world. 
and i promise that where ever I go.
i'll go with my whole heart.  

love, sarah

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Don't lose sight of Neverland

I remember when grape was my favorite flavor of candy.
Now it's gross.
When did I decide that?
Circumstance. Life. Just changes so quickly.
How fast we fall from innocence.
One day we wake up and we're craving adventure.
The next we're all grown up.
Or maybe we haven't grown up.
We just like other flavors of life more.

I'm still discovering what it's like to be a "grown up".
I have the feeling that a sign of finally leaving adolescence behind is when I'm actually prepared for the weather.
And when I actually know what I'm doing.
but I think we all just wing it till we're gone.
Just embracing life.
yep. growing up.
The learning curve is steep.
I'm enjoying this crazy fun ride.

I'm also wondering if you can grow up but still have that child like awe about you. I think you can. My life fluctuates wildly between crushing responsibilities and unbridled childlike enthusiasm for coloring books. Adventure is all around. Even if we need to be a little more serious at times.

A little over a year ago (that doesn't even feel real.) I moved to Provo. Left everything I've ever known for this wonderful adventure.
I've had loads of firsts.
From avocados to kisses.

I've seen how God shapes lives. How he lets us help others and others help us.
How working for something gives it so much more meaning, and that's why we aren't just handed the answers to the math problem, history essay or trials.

That sometimes a gentle, "no" really is the best answer because it takes us to such greater places.

I understand so much more that sometimes we just gotta hang on and laugh. It's never going to be like this again and when I look back I want to remember how great every day is and that, as Rebecca would say, we're just young wild and free. And that we are. So hard. So wonderful.

It's been a time to develop interests. Hobbies. Pursuits.

It is a time to enjoy. Good good music. Good people. Lazy days in the sun. Talking all night. The fleetingness of everything around you.


I get to choose where I am and I don't have to be anywhere I don't want. Now if I don't want to go to history does it mean I shouldn't go based on this principle? no. My grade would likely suffer. But if I do go, I'll receive a better grade, and maybe learn to appreciate something.
Same thing with friends. I don't always want to participate in the activity... like swimming when it's 63 degrees out side... but end up having the most fun in the world and gaining awesome relationships out of somewhere I didn't initially want to be.
I suppose it would be better stated; I am not stuck. The history class will end. And I can go make new friends. Or move apartments. We have to experience the bitter to know joy, right?

I've seen tenacity of the human spirit.
and the bliss.

Growing up involves refocusing thought.
Learning how to communicate better.
And understanding that I'm not perfect, and it's okay. Everyone has bloopers
Powerful words, when you think about them.
Okay is an endorsement. A validation. Something we all crave.
It's a permission to live.

so. here is my permission.

go. be. love.

color a picture, find adventure, and try all those flavors of life with me. will ya?

Monday, July 16, 2012

usually i'm just trying to get some sleep.

sometimes you have the greatest week of your life.

Preview of what is to come! Santa Monica Pier feris wheel.  
then it's back to reality. 

California was seriously the BEST.

I have it good. And while there are some things I'm a little unsure about right now it's not enough to make the memories I just made go sour. Seriously. 5 days of perfection with my favorite people on the face of the planet. Could I ask for more? I'm pretty happy with what I've got. 

more on it later. seriously not looking forward to getting up in 5 hours to get back to the grind stone. 

in the mean time. Enjoy this


Thursday, July 5, 2012

I should probably do my laundry.

A few of the things I thought about on the 7 minute walk to work:

Today the sky is a beautiful color of melancholy. 

For that I am thankful.

It's been a wonderful and crazy week. 

The fourth was spectacular.

And life is a beautiful blur.

There is nothing like a Provo summer. We're all just so happy. 

I need to center myself again. 


I may just go climb a mountain and sit up there today. 

....after I catch up on 2 weeks worth of laundry.....
or email chloe.
or take a nap.
or maybe it will rain.
that'd be nice. 

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Simply put.

Going through advice to the incoming freshman at work today. 

Best advice?

"Don't judge. Just love. You'll be much happier."

Yes.

Just love.

Everyone needs it. 

Monday, June 18, 2012

Run.Drive.Sleep?Repeat.

I am thankful I have 2 legs because I get to use them for running.

This last weekend I ran ragnar. 

MOST WONDERFUL. TIRING. SPECTACULAR. PAINFUL. EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.

seriously. I'm addicted.

200+ kills. 197 miles. 12 runners. 5 injuries. 2 vans. 0 sleep. 1 awesome weekend!

Besides the small set back of an hour plus wait at one of the exchanges and 5 injuries on our team the weekend pretty much was awesome. 

We got well over 200 kills thanks to Joel's mad running skills on the "what the hill!?" leg of the race. And some sweet quotes. 


Getting ready to start... obviously a litte excited. 


This guy was the coolest volunteer. I'll be doing this when I'm old. 

FUNNY STORY. Right before my first leg I had to go to the bathroom really bad, so I ran to the front of the line said runner and found an open honey bucket. About the same time the honey bucket people were there to empty them... and in my hurry I neglected to lock the door... well I'm minding my own business in there and the door opens. I let out a little squeal as the guy just doing his job slammed the door. I got outta there as fast as I could. And it made for a really good laugh later in the day! 


Right after I finished my last leg. Most if it was downhill, and then a steady incline. It was HOT. I almost threw up. But I made a friend that leg too. When I run, I look out for people that are struggling to keep going and I always tell them to run with me. The lady I ran with that leg was hurting, and so was I but we pushed each other to the finish line. We made it and hugged, I hadn't even known her an hour before hand. See that's what I love about running - it brings you so much closer to people so quickly. And it teaches you how strong you really are. Which is much more than you know. 




Spent 36 hours in this sucker. 

The best part was cheering people on! we made so many friends along the course. Had so many dance parties. Would sing to everyone along the way! I loved it! Going up the "what the hill!?" leg was so much fun. So many butterflies. So many laughs :)


Van number 1! showered and happy to be done :)


The Spanking Spatulas!

And it wouldn't be a race with my brother if we didn't get our signature picture together. 

So, yes. I will be participating in another Ragnar. So fun!

And totally worth the sticker ;)