[insert title here]

I doubt you'll ever see this. So was it meant for you to read?

I believe in a lot of things.

I believe in love . . . . . . . and in arguing.

in jamming out to yourself in the car

I believe in having someone tell you you're beautiful.

in dancing in the rain. . . . . . and miracles

I believe in smiling till your cheeks hurt

and laughing till you cry.

I believe in God.

I believe in crying.

in second chances and

that kindness can change people.

I believe in being happy.

I BELIEVE IN YOU.

as a human being.

I believe you have the capability to love beyond anything in this world.

I believe I'll always look for that ONE reason to fight for you.

that as much as I may hate you. . . . . . . . . I love you with every fiber in my being.

This, I believe.

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I think, and i speak in quotes and analogies. Often they fail, but every once in a while something brilliant comes out... so we write these things down...

Observations: Boys complain about girls. Boys think girls are so complicated. Their problem? They’re looking for a general rule. “What makes girls happy? What do girls like?” Since we’re all the same. Since we all want the same things. Since that isn’t generalizing or anything.

What they are missing is the “thought that counts” perspective.

From what I’ve observed, girls are NOT difficult to figure out.

Most of the time, we want one thing: to feel loved.

Now, I understand, this is very complex, but not complicated. The reason it’s complex is because it is different for every single girl.

• Some girls hate pink. If you give her pink and she freaks out, is she complicated? No! She’s just pissed you didn’t take the time to figure out what she likes.
• Some girls want to feel like they are your little slice of heaven. The second she feels like you are using her for make-out sessions on the weekends, she’s gone.
• Some girls just want those make out sessions. These girls are also dumber than a bag of hammers and you shouldn’t be chasing them anyway.
• Some girls would love to be kissed, but would love even more to have you hold them in your arms and talk. It may be worth your while.
• Some girls have had a hard past and want to work through things together. If you cross the line-even just a kiss on the forehead, she’ll tell you she doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
• Some girls want expensive things. Some girls don’t like presents, except for when they come from the heart.
• Some girls want a guy to wait on her hand and foot. Some girls freak if you open the door for them.

It doesn’t mean we’re crazy particular. It means we have a personality. If you really love us, take the time to get to know us.

(props to chole for helping with this one...)

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a new years kiss? a new years kiss? yeah, like i'll ever get one of those...

Marvelous Monday

I just saw Bowen in Park City and got the chance to talk to him for about an hour! Yeahhh. so great. I miss him a lot, it was really great to see him, made my Monday... actually made my month. Absolutely fantastic :)

He asked me how things were going... and you know what, I can't complain. Honestly. I mean, I could... but whats the point. I have great friends. Good grades. A Place to live. My family. My sport. And I'm glad for that. Last year was, well, traumatic. As I sat there talking to him, I realized something.

I've stopped caring so much.

Not completely, there are some things that require caring about, others don't require as much. Especially if they are beyond my control. It's funny how my life is like a roller coaster ride, the ups and downs and crazy turns along the way, It'll throw you off if you don't hold on tight, you can't really smile until you've shed some tears, I could die today or I might live on years, I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life. I'm glad to be smiling. I'm actually happy too. And for the first time in a while, I can say that I am truthfully happy with where I'm at. It may not be all that I imagined, but I'm glad it didn't turn out that way.

Here to Learn

Lately, it feels like everyone has been so disconnected. Seems like all my friends are taking on the world all by themselves. It's scary.

We all have our problems but maybe we are supposed to help each other out. I never thought it would end up like this... it's weird how God knows what's best for us... and how he gives it to us. Just crazy. But it's as if we were all put here, now, to help each other. Chloe and I keep each others heads screwed on straight. Maybe I was supposed to go through the crap I did last year to help Rachel out. Maybe Tyler had to hate me [for him and I] to realize just how much I care. Maybe John had to get in an accident with Chloe to stop him from a bigger one. Maybe I was put in the seminary class I am to help someone out. Maybe Camden had to move to learn a lesson, and teach me one. Maybe the reason I'm still friends with some people is because we still have lessons to teach each other. Maybe Kelsee has to let go of something she loves- for something even better. Maybe I need to do the same...

It's funny how "the group" came together. The people I hang out with are some of the finest people I know and love. They truly strengthen and help me. We help each other. Every single person makes me smile in their own way. It's absolutely amazing to know them. All are like Christ in their own way. and you know what? I think together we will make it. Each of us were put her for a reason because everything happens for a reason.

I try to live in love. Smile. Let Christ's light shine through. I know that we have the hard times where we can barley hang on so we know how strong we really are. This life is for learning and I know the people that are in my life are there for me, and I am there for them.

There's things you need to hear
so turn off your tears
and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
love turns the whole thing around
no it wont all go the way it should
but I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothin' new
bad news never had good timing
then the circle of your friends
will defend the silver lining