counting good things.

Location: bedroom floor

Listening to: Florence + the machine. amazing, really.

Avoiding: Sterling. and other things that will force me to stay up late tomorrow night...


You know what I love? being rejected.

Seems like I write this with a bit of sarcasm in my voice. I assure you dear reader that I do not.

Today upon opening the mailbox I found, 1 package and 11 envelopes addressed to me. The package and the 10 envelopes were good news - yes to Sadies. The other letter I received in the mail informed me that the full ride that I was hoping for and had an excellent shot at (considering I was one of the 70/600 to actually get an interview, and from more than an hour away from the school...) was regrettably denied. However, they had a spot for me on the Associated Students (student government) and awarded me an additional $800 a semester on top of a half ride. Wooo. MONIES!

At first I was disappointed. Not gonna lie, I shed a tear, not many, but a few. After running out my frustrations, something dawned on me. Perhaps this is a blessing. A tender mercy that Heavenly Father really is looking out for me, giving me options. Because I didn't recieve this scholarship, I am not bound to the school for four years. I can still go there if I choose, and have practically a full ride between other scholarships. I still have opportunities to be involved with student leadership and more. Yeah, I am blessed. And I'm going to take these blessings and use them for good.

Or maybe I just needed a lesson. Things aren't always going to be clear cut. And sometimes we receive really unconventional answers to prayers... I don't mind. I like them, because I am an unconventional person. They do throw me for a loop though.

Either way. I have a big decision to make. As much as I hate being your "typical LDS PC graduate" and people putting me in a box of generalizations that I know I do NOT fit in. I know I am very much my own person and I need to do what's best for me. And while that may be eventually moving to Seattle, and living there in the city. One bedroom apartment. Me. Endless opportunities (a dream come true) maybe right now is not the right time because 1) I can't afford it. (debt = evil!) 2) all these things will come with time. I want it. So I'm going to make it happen. Sometimes you just gotta do whats right for you, no matter how many people are pulling the other way. I have potential. I will discover it. I will flourish. I will. I can. and I won't stop.

so for now. two options. One involves Lacrosse, leadership and starts in a mere 15 weeks. The other involves Free (ish) College, leadership, maybe lacrosse and starts in approximate 23 weeks.

here goes nothing.

smile on.