Be forewarned. this is a rant [slightly]
I'm convinced that boys, in general, thoroughly dislike me. I'm not sure why... but I'm always exponentially better at being the "friend". Yet, I look at some of the girls that guys hook up with or ask out on dates ect and I wonder. " WHY HER? WHY? WHAT MAKES HER ANYMORE CAPABLE OF GETTING A DATE OR BOYFRIEND OVER ME? am I not pretty enough? am I too annoying? Maybe I'm not good enough." and those thoughts pain me. I live in fear of those thoughts because I know that in reality I AM better than that. I AM beautiful, exactly as I am.
I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE FOR LOVE.
why then is it so widely accepted that the girl has to be what the boy wants. How come girls like me have to go out of their way to get a freaking date. It shouldn't be that hard. All we want to do is hang out, be treated well. BUT NO. the classy ladies NEVER get asked out, because A) some other girl is totally desperate and asks them [the boy] out while the classy lady is waiting for the boy B) the girl lifts the pressure off the boy to be some thing that American culture has said they should be and the boy doesn't want to loose that which leads to C) "I don't want to ruin our friendship" leading to D) I don't want a girlfriend, but then they are introduced to the best friend and they start going out and thennnnnnnn it just goes down hill. Classy ladies are hurt either way. because they either 1)we're totally okay with it, but no one realizes it or 2) we're totally okay with it, but not one realizes it. There is just no way to win? Is there.
this leads me to my next point. One of my biggest fears is that I will not (yes, this is silly) be asked to prom. and that once I get to college, I'm not going to know how to date because I have never been on many real dates before. Boys, please note. THIS IS EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING TO GIRLS, THERE IS NO COMMITMENT. IT'S HIGH SCHOOL. JUST GO ON DATES. not that hard. kthanks.
Everything culminates to something where it is extremely hard not to loose your head. you want to smack boys that you helped start. It's beyond me how oblivious some people can be. So don't let your ego get any bigger. Because I think you have forgotten. I won't. But remember... even if you hate me now. I don't hate you. In fact, I'll never leave, so when you're ready, come back. Turn around, I'll be right there beside you.
I totally agree with you. Guys never realize the true worth of a girl in high school. Or it is EXTREMELY hard to find one (if you do find one please let me know.) but i guess that is what high school is all about, testing your morals, ideas on what is right and testing who you really think you are and who you want to be. The "classy girl" as you said never seems to find a guy who will date her just as she is. I'm sorry that you are going through this trial. It is truly the hardest thing a girl will have to go through in her lifetime. Being the friend and nothing more. Being "one of the boys." I wish you the best of luck with the boys that drift in and out of your life.
ReplyDelete-Stuck with you there