I'd rather embark

I pose the question of which is harder, or on the contrary easier.... Leaving, or being left.


In my opinion it is much easier to be the one leaving than the one left. My reasoning is as such. If you are the one leaving, you have already accepted the fact that things are not going to be the same. In a relationship things have changed for you and there is little hurt to get over; if in a relationship you are the one being left it takes you by suprise. You wonder what could have been done differently? why is this happening? and it hurts. There is no fair warning. No mental preparation. Just a hammer coming down on glass.

Now the same goes for leaving a place or group of people. Yes, there are memories. Goodbyes are never fun. You miss people. Yet, there is a whole NEW adventure waiting for you. New people, places, activities, experiences. Everything is a rush to the senses. You still have those memories of the old, and yes, being new can be hard... with time you adjust and everything is hunky dori. I personally believe that when people move away they take a little bit of you with them. They don't know but they do. The worst part is that the person that has been left has to watch someone else have this magnificent change while their life stays relatively... dull. The person left behind has to see all the places where memories were made so often it's hard not to think about. Especially when you are in a small town. It's hard to just merge into a new group of friends. People know your past. They don't want to accept you. Either that or they demand change. It makes you miss the person who left even more.

I love Park City, don't get me wrong. It's a love hate relationship. So bittersweet. It's an amazing place, and has some opportunities that are out of this world. I'm so blessed to live somewhere so beautiful... and at the same time it's a little bit of a curse. You are determined who you are in about the 4th grade. Obviously I wasn't clued in... but I'm glad I was not. People grew up together. And it seems the more "original" you are... the more we hate each other... a sad, but true reality. People either stay true to themselves or morph into this collective blob of grayness to "fit in." Although I would miss certain aspects I just wish I could leave sometimes. Be the new person for once. Have a different adventure. Get out of this distorted bubble. My time will come... year and a half more.

That being said. I think next time I would rather be the one who leaves. not left behind... College is going to rock.