For life.

Dear friend,

Just thought you should know that you're amazing. you make me smile when i'm sad. make a day feel right again. make me want to strive to be better. you push and pull me to new heights, barriers, and experiences. you're like family. I'm glad you walked into my life when you did. you are a friend who has given me a friendship that i value more than the world. I'm not going to mess that up, because it's not worth it. besties for life, and i'm glad. I know you are too.

Yours truly,
A friend

A philosophy on life

its about 1 am and of course we do our best thinking at this time. but here is a quick thought. that i think explains alot.

I am a generally happy, upbeat person. there's so much hate in this world. Why add to it? There's no reason not to be happy.

Find the simple joys, and live.

A Rant

To whom it may concern: Be aware that anything I say in this post is purely out of frustration and stress. Please don't let anything i say change your views or me. Odds are you're a great person, and I love you regardless. Plus everyone deserves a little ranting on their blog.

Today just sucked to put it lightly.

Please, please, please, don't complain about something that you didn't like if you didn't even PARTICIPATE. example? and i quote the batch of muffins in the hall way, *as i'm making a poster.* "yeah, our float sucked *** last year, who the **** even built it?" my response, " well it could have been better if you HELPED. CIRMENY." sorry, but you have no room to complain if you aren't even apart of it. So please, go spread your misery to someone elses world. I really don't need yours now.

maybe its just the fact that DEADLINES are approaching quickly and no one is doing anything about it... and i feel like no body is taking me seriously. yeah, i definitely wanted to ring a few necks in student council today, alas, i didn't. but i guess i'm just so frustrated because i am naturally a strong person so i have been pushed to my limits plenty of times before, but i can control myself. No matter how many times i've been knocked down, i always get up. Everyone looks past my strong-willed sense of compassion and they tend to be shown up. i will not take anyone's bs and i plan to keep it that way. Once i let my guard down, i feel like i have lost myself. So i sit and smile, people rarley know how frustrated i can get, because i DON'T like to show unnecessary emotions. It never goes my way, so if you see me as that happy girl with a ridiculous personality who never gets sad or lonely, obviously my facade is working.... personality flaw #62


i only show what i want. And once you see the other side, that's how you know i trust you. because i don't just tell anyone my secrets. i don't tell just anyone about my past. i don't tell just anyone about who i am, so if you are reading this i've told you about some of this stuff, then know i trust you, actually i'm likely to trust you already unless you have done something to break that trust, another one of my personality flaws. great.

yet another thing, is i'm so freaking anxious to get asked to homecoming. i guess because there is only really one person that i want to go with, because i know that i would have a great time, i trust him, and i know that there wouldn't be any scandal involved. Just two really good friends going to homecoming and having a great time. i'm just nervous, because I DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT want to screw up an awesomely amazing friendship. (: i'm good at doing that too... personality flaw #74, hopefully they will forgive me.

and i failed my calc test. again. there's always tomorrow. there's always time for learning. always room to improve.

yep today was interesting, now that i have ranted on my little zone of Internet, i feel much better. i love writing. but please just remember, this was a rant. not to be taken too seriously. but you decide.

i have a feeling tomorrow will be A LOT better. yes. it will.

Side by Side

Life can throw twists and turns at you, but you know... there are lots of people that love you, and they won't let you face it all alone. And recently I have been very glad for that.

Some say that I have what you may call a colorful outgoing personality, I agree with them. It's who I am.... and I would really appreciate it if you don't hate me for it, but rather be kind, because I'm not trying to hide. I'm crazy, energetic, simple things make me happy, and I might be a little loud... but I'm working on that.

Anyways, point in case I hate it when people don't like you for stupid reasons like being true to yourself. So those people... just go on, hate me, say what ever you like, but you ARE NOT going to change me.

So let me just say I'm really really grateful for the people I call my friends. Even though most of them are seniors I still love them, because they have helped shape who I have become. They have taught me lessons, shared some great laughs and had some tough times. Yet, we're all still together, we all hang out, we all do fun things and we all respect each other. I'm very thankful for all these people that I can call friends.

I know that I'm still trying to figure out friendship, and I always will be because it's an ongoing process. But for right now I think friendship is wanting the best for that person no matter what, always loving them, never wanting to hurt them intentionally, someone to sit and listen or give advice when it's needed. And most of all they love you for EXACTLY what you are.

So thank you to all my friends. You're the best. Big G, Ky, Chloe, Keltz, Ty, Erika, Camden, Christine, Cpt. Dix, Lo Carl, Genesiqua, Autumn, and a few adults who know who they are ;) I'm glad to call you friends. Thanks for loving me for who I am.

Square one

Yes, I stole the title from Coldplay. But it felt appropriate, because that's where I'm standing.

I'm doing what I can to form my own person. I know that is done by the decisions we make throughout our lives, the opportunities we are given and take. It's the beginning of a new year, I CAN BE ANYONE I WANT TO. That's a good thing. I'm glad I can be who I am, share something with the world. But sometimes starting at square one in the same place isn't always the easiest thing.

Like the song says, "You're in control is there anywhere you wanna go? You're in control is there anything you wanna know? The future's for discovering, the space we're traveling in." Everyday is for learning something new. but we have to dictate where we want to go. Like today...(long story, want the details... ask me yourself)

Really what I want to do is help others find that person. I know who I am for the most part, I know what I want to do, and I know that I will likely be able to get there. But I want to HELP OTHERS find that. I don't want them to be hurting and think they are alone... Although I'm figuring out new things everyday, I'm glad for those things because they have made me who I am. I have the opportunity to change peoples lives. Opportunity to help. And that's something I want.

After you give someone advice and you see that light start to come back into their eyes it's the greatest feeling in the world. You KNOW that you have given them a shred of hope, something to hang on to. You don't want them to give up, you're just praying they will hang on, because sometimes you have to do things for yourself, and it's likely that those things will not be easy, but there are people looking out for you. Know that. Know those that love you and want you to succeed, they want to do it for you, but as much as they want to they can't. Regardless, they will cheer you on the rest of the way. And hopefully they will not turn on you for the decisions you make.
Then again, that's how we find out who truly cares for us.

Regardless, I am so excited for this "square one" of a new year. I'm going to make Junior year the best I can. I'm stoaked for new teachers, and eventhough things may be different I don't think it will be to bad. I will always miss Gardner and Bowen, yes, they will always have a place in my heart, but I think it's going to be okay, I think I'm going to be able to open up for the new teachers just as I did with Bowen and Gardner. There are some amazing people in this High School.

Maybe, someday I will be like them. At another square one.

Barfing Love

I like [more love] it when people come into your life and give you something, weather that is a friend, a different perspective, or simply someone that knows you exist. exillarhating really.

This summer has been an interesting one, people have moved, new people have come. I have come to notice that this town is constantly changing around me but I'm happy for it. Becuase not only have I gotten to know and become close to great people but I get to meet even more great people. And I'm extremley happy about that!

Aside from the point, the last few weeks have been basically AWESOME. Making me love life even more. Needless to say it was one of the best Girls camp's ever, a great EFY, and even just some great time to sit by myself and learn to grow.

I learned a few things.

-I am a Daughter of God. I can't forget it. It is what makes me who I am, what makes me happy and mostly it will help me serve others to the best of my ability.

-You can learn things from being a ninja, basically its really fun to be epic, and be sneaky while fighting for the greater good :D

- life can never give you enough things to laugh at. I love to laugh, it's just good for the soul. I don't think I have laughed as hard at so manythings as I have in the last few weeks as I have in a long time! Needless to say when you put 16 girls in one room to sleep in with an "adult" being 24 you are going to have some pretty crazy stuff go down. examples? Virtue Ninjas, Llamas, Crazy Accents, Glowstick Parties, Stupid jokes, and not to mention Barfing love :)

It is quite possible to barf love, metaphorically. Just remember next time you get that feeling of SO much love in your heart you don't know what to do because it just feels like its going to explode right out of you, that is barfing love. craziest but the best emotion you will ever feel :)

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